The Romney Debacle: A Comic Tour de Force
Fans of gallows humor must delight in the mounting farce that is Mitt Romney's campaign. Could his cavalcade of confusion blunder on, even get worse? Common manners might restrain gleeful cries when derision is this easy -- but have we celebrated a more appealing, richer punching bag in years? Recall that GOP power brokers once dreaded calamity from Perry, Santorum, Bachmann or Gingrich -- yet Romney, with marvelous irony, turns out to be the rank amateur.
Here's the most premeditated, studied, nearly content- and personality-free campaign that money can buy imploding because Mitt's an epic fail at retail politics, a crashing, burning, non-stop, unforced gaffe machine. Imagine, squandering ten years and billions of even richer folks' money only to shoot yourself in the foot, with jaw-dropping repetition. This qualifies as neither melodrama nor tragedy but high farce, and I await Mitt's latest attempt at redemption: ham-fisted debate "zingers." Besieged, this second least charming GOP politician (after Donald Trump) has decided to polish up his comic timing. Oh, lord of misrule, let it be.
Second, inadvertent comic narrative: Mr. Obama remains the luckiest politician in our history, undeterred by his endless quest for higher office (and luckless in only one imprudent House run). This master of retail politics (however deficient in vision, leadership or governance) looks to cruise home, as if all is forgiven. So the president had awful tunnel vision about economic dilemmas; delivered neither hope nor change, nor redirected addictions to endless wars and shameless defense spending; so there's little reform (even worsening) to the civil-legal-judicial abuses inherited from neo-con, anti-constitutional overkill. Obama as Bush III is no joke, but let that bide.
The Season's Laugh Riot Hit
It is, however, a howler that Romney's pitiably inept presidential run is orchestrated by a top-down control-freak with alleged management prowess. Absent political bragging rights (allergic to his own office tenure in Mass.) and dishing out neither campaign promises nor programs, what can Mitt sell beyond "management competence"? And that's utterly undermined by his campaign train wreck.
First, Romney muddles through a farcical GOP primary, then picks Paul Ryan (gaining not one electoral vote), offers the wimpiest of acceptance speeches, then tops off the fiasco by dismissing 47% of his fellow citizen (and voters) as victimized, tax-averse, slavish losers. Beyond the incredible condescension (and distortion) here, worse still is the Romney mindset that such appeals would captivate super-rich donors (some still can count to 50%).
It's hard to imagine any president in our lifetime will outdo W. for unintentional White House comedy, mangling language and concepts with equal abandon. Such ignorance, we pray, is a once-a-generation phenomenon. And few jokes came from Don Rumsfeld or Dick Cheney, though shooting your friend in the face evokes wicked irony. But no modern presidential candidate matches Mitt for unforced errors, bringing on self-defamation with nothing to show for it. Mitt's religion denies the holy trinity but his campaign channels another trio, the Three Stooges.
Significantly, Mitt's fiasco is not without real-world ripples. Even billionaires resist embrace of a laughing stock a month before election, and the GOP brand will pay a price, especially when base turnout is depressed. GOP Senate takeover already looks doubtful and, if Romney-Ryan wither, a most improbable prospect still -- the GOP losing the House -- rears its head.
Is it not a wonderful, epic joke that Romney, just by talking foolishly, is now less popular than W.? Second in shock value to Ann Romney's concern for her husband's "mental stability" were he elected, Bloomberg polling records W.'s current ratio of 46% favorable vs. 49% unfavorable -- yes, that trumps Romney's 43% favorable vs. 49% unfavorable. Yikes! And Romney earns mammoth dishonor without yet doing anything, well, anything truly notorious, compared to Bush's egregious eight years of pro-active misrule.
Romney's Flub for the Ages
Already, Romney stands alongside icons like Sarah Palin, Dan Quayle and James Stockdale (Perot's V.P) as national jokes. We've moved beyond Mitt's monumental flip-flopping, lying and distortions, to now settle on an even worse category for political boobery: the epic flop. Note, these other transient objects of ridicule were mere V.P. candidates -- Romney's self-destruction breaks new ground for presidential wannabes -- and with such conspicuous visibility. Mr. Control, meet Mr. Nincompoop.
The poetic and moral ironies are so great, one can only wonder if there's a divine hand here somewhere, perhaps a deity who cares not for Mormon "cult" aberrations. Does America -- with a lust for self-sabotage by denying all that made us great (open, well-funded education and freer immigration, government research and national infrastructure) deserve such a transparent blessing?
No doubt Bishop Romney poisons the well for future Mormons, let alone the idiot Tea Partiers he embraces. What long-term inestimable party damage accrues from the devolution, namely Bush-Cheney to McCain-Palin to Romney-Ryan? Anything that makes Bush, let alone McCain, look good can't help the GOP.
Okay, it takes a special sensibility, as civilization crumbles around our heads, to appreciate high farce, even posit serious pendulum shifts. By 2016, especially for establishment Republicans, I predict professional, safe politicians like Mitch Daniels or Rob Portman will displace today's cavalcade of clowns -- or else. Why, Romney may even dissuade other super-rich, non-politician fat cats from trying to buy the White House. The mortification is too great. Thank God for small blessings.
If the allegedly rational and controlled Romney can so effortlessly (or strenuously) wreck himself, one can only wonder if the party returns to the center (and there's no proof for this) or goes whole hog and puts forth a Bachmann or Perry. Both prospects have their appeal, with all the glory of full-fledged, unintended consequences.
And the game is still afoot: before November, we can further delight in how a desperate and defeat-averse Romney becomes "unzipped," as promised by his astonishingly klutzy campaign wife. Oh my, the wonder of a daring, what-does-he-have-to-lose Mitt on the stump. Now that diversion will repay any cost of admission, plus crown a truly bizarre, if entertaining election season. Bravo to the 2012 producers!
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10 comments on "The Romney Debacle: A Comic Tour de Force "
October 08, 2012 5:37pm
It is an unbalanced world in which a Harvard lay about-draft dodger can beat an intellectual with a war record.
October 08, 2012 8:58am
My intention was to skewer the inept Romney campaign, not discourage voting. If you like Obama (well, more than I do), then you must vote if you live in a state with a tight race, that is, VA, FL, OH, NV, CO, IA, NH, and NM. If Romney loses OH and/or FL, he's done for.
October 08, 2012 8:25am
I was entertained by this well-written essay, but I too am concerned that it might foster complacency about the election results, and I think those who intend to vote against Willard and the Tea-Party Gang should be fired-up, somewhat anxious, and determined to cast their vote.
Else Willard and his cohorts (at least for now) will be deciding our course for the future. And I can't be complacent about that.
October 07, 2012 5:43pm
To assume that the race is in the bag is to invite disaster. The level of voter suppression taking place in many states is far more of a concern than has been voiced. Add to that the $millions about to be spent by outside groups and the effect they will have on an uninformed and gullible populace. Unless the President and the Democrats make a much larger issue of the lies being spread, they will be, and to some extent already are, accepted as true. It has been said that we get the government we deserve. Hold on to your hats, boys, this could be a bumpy ride.
October 07, 2012 2:58pm
. . Romney is runnning on sound-bites . . sadly many prople are accepting them as truth and fact.. Are that many people here that prejudice - - - I don't know - it seems so......more against the man than his policies. . . . . I'm more against the policies than the man. . . Extending Afghanistan till 2024...a major mistake - even if George Bush and Dick Ceney wanted long term bases in the region. . . .
The Republican / Tea Perty of. . . . . CUTS...cuts....cuts........now selling no cuts???
No cuts to EDUCATIION ?? no cuts to Social Security / Medicare....all while raising the age requirements??? An EMPTY promise of no tax hikes to the middle class....an additional two billion dollars for military spending ??
WE HAVE AN UN-BALANCED BUDGET.......THAT THEY CAN NOT BALANCE.....TOO MANY SECRET BUDGETS AND THEY CAN NOT BALANCE ANYTHING TILL THEY EXPLAIN THE SECRET. . . . . . . SHH - - - DON'T TELL ANYONE DOESN'T COVER IT.......
NO LIGHT ON THE SECRET BUDGETS MEANS. . . AGAIN AN UN-BALANCED BUDGET............DO NOT TELL ME A LIE....DO NOT TELL ME A SECRET......TRY THE TRUTH.
.... foreign aid doesn't protect our country
....open borders / requiring citizens to get passports to travel
----doesn't protect our country
lies, lies, and more lies are costing our government its crediability - - -HERE. . . and around the world
October 07, 2012 1:22pm
Mitt the underdog
Romney isn't an impossible winner but he's still a long-shot and he's no Reagan. One sleazy and perceived to be effective debate showing won't reverse his loser status, so far. He still has to win FL and VA and OH, and Obama has a much easier road to victory. Further, Romney still has to overcome his own sales pitch: fire a popular (if inept) politician who's sort of stimulating jobs and hire me, a ruthless, vulture capitalist who offshored jobs, ruined businesses, and sent money overseas. He's got a long way to go and only a month -- and now, not even much more money than Obama. I think the 7.8% jobless number (however specious) pretty much offset the bad debate performance.
October 07, 2012 1:08pm
I would like to have a good howl with you on the ineptitude of the newest great white hope but I've lived long enough to watch America embrace this kind of politician again and again, I have not lived long enough to figure out why unfortunately.
October 07, 2012 12:44pm
This article was small comfort. Romney's recent debate performance, while full of lies, was not full of gaffes. If he was channeling anyone, it was the two-term Ronald Reagan. Too many Americans voted for Reagan against their own best interests, and this could very well happen again next month.
October 07, 2012 11:02am
One sign the Republicans don't give a hoot about the welfare of the people is the way they reacted to good news about the economy. When the unemployment rate of 7.8% came out, I thought this was a course for celebration by all, regardless of party affiliation, silly me. Instead there are charges of conspiracy and fixing the numbers. " Chicago boys can't debate so they fix....". Racist, hateful son of a bitch.
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS
October 07, 2012 7:50am
How unqualified does he have to be proven,voter suppression will play a huge part in this race,hopefully Blacks,Hispanics,women, students will remember the republican attack on their freedoms for generations.