Here are nine advisers who are shaping Mitt Romney's views: Cofer "Head on Dry Ice" Black, Walid "Lebanese Warlord Advisor" Phares, Robert "Saturday Night Massacre" Bork, Kris "Birther Flirter" Kobach, Paul "You're a Taker" Ryan, John "It's Never a Bad Day to Bomb Iran" Bolton, General Tommy "Where's Bin Laden" Franks, Harold "Drill Baby Drill" Hamm, and Kevin "Dow 36,000" Hassett. Learning about these men is one way to understand what a presidential candidate might do if elected is to look at his advisers.