Alec Baldwin should play the role of Trump at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner

Millions of Americans will be watching this dinner on their TVs, most of them laughing so hard that they will be crying.

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Millions of Americans were looking forward to Donald Trump attending the upcoming White House Correspondent’s dinner in late April and seeing him go up against the media and the journalists who he despises and finds repulsive. Unfortunately, he decided not to attend and that is a YUGE disappointment, to say the least.

Why isn’t he attending? Well, let’s try to identify the reasons why he decided to bow out of the dinner.

  • Someone told him that Alec Baldwin was going to conduct the celebrity roast of him; he immediately flew into a rage and tore up his ticket.
  • He knew a lot of politically ignorant liberal Hollywood actors and actresses were going to be present and he didn’t want to listen to their petty criticisms on issues about which they know nothing.
  • He found out that one of his arch enemies, Rosie O’Donnell, was planning to attend and he said; “No way am I going to be in the same room with that witch, count me out.”
  • He also heard that former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was going to be one of the featured speakers and he couldn’t bear to hear him repeat that old, worn out phase, “Hasta la vista, baby” that Arnold made famous in the movie, Terminator 2: Judgement Day.

This falling out between these two started after Trump had tweeted that Schwarzenegger’s ratings on the TV program, The Apprentice, were a complete disaster. Arnold shot back with, “Hey Donald, I have a great idea: Why don’t we switch jobs? You take over the TV series because you’re such an expert on ratings, and I’ll take over your job, so then people can finally sleep comfortably again.” And that infuriated Trump.

You can bet that Arnold will never, ever be invited to a White House dinner, that he will be persona non grata and that he will never receive an invitation to be a golf partner of Trump.

  • There is no way that Trump was going to allow himself to be associated with a group of “lying” journalists” who have become “enemies of the people” and are in the business of peddling “fake news” to Americans.

It’s too bad that Trump is so very sensitive and his feelings can be hurt so easily because America needs a president who is stable and remains under control in stressful situations. I think that this dinner would prove to be more than he could possibly handle without coming unglued.

An unidentified source revealed that Trump once tried to be more personable and friendly toward others that didn’t share his beliefs and opinions; so Trump thought he would poke a little fun at himself, to try to be somewhat self-deprecating. But it just didn’t work because, after he criticized himself, he didn’t laugh it off and, instead, erupted in a fit of anger.

There’s another strong rumor going around indicating that Trump is going to hold his own dinner that very evening, kind of in competition with the Correspondent’s dinner. His guests will include his wife, his daughter Ivanka and her husband Jared Kushner, Reince Priebus, and his top advisers Steve Bannon and Steve Miller.

The conversation will, no doubt, focus on Trump’s war against the corrupted, incompetent, lecherous media and how he and his advisers can turn the American people against it. Trump, as we have seen, is not the greatest advocate of free speech, that is, unless journalists write articles praising him and all the achievements he has mad; at least in his own mind.

So here we have this great dilemma because Trump will not attend the dinner. How will we fill this massive void? Is there someone who can fill in as his replacement? Oh, I know, I know!

The perfect substitute for Trump would have to be none other than Alec Baldwin.

Now I don’t know If Baldwin will even be invited to attend this dinner; or whether he might be asked to be the host and then perform a comedy skit in which he would play the role of Mr. Trump, just as he does on Saturday Night Live. Just recently Baldwin indicated that, if invited he would accept.

Here then is my take on how he might go about playing that role; how he would make his general presentation and the subjects of his choice. That would be followed by a question and answer session.

We’d see and hear something like this: Baldwin/Trump opens the discussion session thanking everyone that organized the event. He then launches into 20 minutes talking about himself and reviewing all the great things that he has achieved in a short span of time; stressing that no other former president has achieved so much so “greatly” and quickly.

He goes on and on and on until someone in the audience asks when the question and answer session begins. Though he shows his extreme irritation, he finally stops the tributes to himself and opens the discussion. When a CNN reporter tries to ask him about his administration’s alleged connections with Russia, Trump interrupts him and tells him “to just shut up” and “sit down.”

Then a NY Times reporter stands up, but before he can say anything, Trump tells him to “stop right there, I don’t want to hear it, you are totally incompetent and your newspaper is full of fake news; so be quiet and sit down.”

He then calls on the guy from Breitbart News and lets him go on for 10 ten minutes, congratulating Trump and his administration for all the great things that they have done for this country and its people. This is followed by another comment from one of the Fox news TV reporters who says the people of America are so thankful that they have Trump as president and that it’s wonderful to see the Democrats collapsing.

Baldwin/Trump then abruptly ends the discussion. A host of reporters all rise up and begin firing questions at him but he yells out to “sit down, shut up, your questions are irrelevant.” He announces that the scheduled roast of the president has been canceled. He then angrily stalks off the stage. And another hilarious and highly successful Correspondents’ dinner comes to an end.

Millions upon millions of Americans will be watching this dinner on their TVs, most of them laughing so hard that they will be crying. And you can bet that Trump will be eager to end his own dinner so he can launch a series of Twitter attacks on Baldwin and various of his media enemies. Sure, he should be burning the midnight oil, attacking this county’s critical problems and coming up with solutions, but that can be done later, that is, if he can somehow find the time.

FALL FUNDRAISER

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