Re-Defending the Alamo


Good news from the front: The defenders of the Alamo are standing strong, bravely battling the forces of tyranny!

Wait… didn’t the Battle of the Alamo take place in 1836?

Yes. But history buffs, preservationists, and aficionados of the absurd will be glad to know that the battle continues in Texas today.

One lone state senator has risen to re-defend the Alamo — not from the Mexican government this time, but from the ferocious invading forces of the United Nations.

State Senator Donna Campbell, a tea party Republican from Pluto, startled even her far-right Republican colleagues by introducing a bill to ban any foreign ownership of the Alamo, warning darkly that it’s in danger of falling under UN control.

What spurred Campbell to rush to the barricades was a news item that the United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) is considering including the Alamo as a World Heritage Site. That would place it on a small and very prestigious list that includes places like the Statue of Liberty and the Grand Canyon.

It’s an honor, noted her colleagues, who also pointed out that the state owns the iconic structure and that the heritage designation doesn’t alter that ownership at all. Moreover, they added, being a heritage site has proven to give a big boost to tourism and jobs.

Another fellow Republican observed that no Texas politico would even think of selling such a chunk of state history. “I’m trying to figure out what problem we’re trying to solve here,” he said gently to her.

But the learned lawmaker had an answer for that: “Anything that starts with ‘the UN’ gives me cause for concern.”

Apparently those who say that state leaders offer the best models for good government never met Senator Campbell.


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