Research confirms just hearing crazy talk makes everyone, especially fanatics, crazier. In an ‘anything goes’ world, absurd science fictions ’cause’ diseases, so why not safe vaccines, Tylenol, or circumcision?
A new, underpublicized report concluded that just listening to monumentally stupid science long enough impairs faculties, physical and mental. One can get sick, and crazier, by just having your brain twisted by fables invented by desperate MAGA conspiracy machines. A busted brain assures that busted bodies will follow (bring on opiates, junk food, obesity and data denial). Thus the ultimate quandary: did MAGA yahoos begin crazy or get crazier by imbibing crazy talk, purposely aimed to distract from real-world disasters?
With dramatic findings summing up the last eight months, the Wisdom Institute Management Partners (WIMP) concluded that listening, let alone giving credence to fake MAGA science devastates rational faculties, inducing big-time maladies far and wide. WIMP’s latest report, “Assessing willful ignorance of science as short- and long-term health threats,” found that “untested, crackpot science is deleterious to the health of all listeners, their lives and families. The more one listens, the more paralyzed one gets.”
The Institute cautioned further that, combined with indiscriminate closures of breakthrough medical research (on heart disease, cancer, besity, addiction, even knee blisters from bowing before the monarch), the US faces a double whammy guaranteed to produce illness, suffering, even higher mortality rates. “Short-circuiting late-stage medical experiments guarantee,” declares the report, “that billions already spent will be squandered. Multitudes will suffer and die when anticipated, tax-paid advances never materialize.” In short, no need for unqualified officials to ban miracle vaccines and drugs that never appear in the USA.
According to the WIMP spokesman, J. Alfred Prufrock,
Our research rejects untested, unproven political agendas that violate the canons of provable cause and effect. Call us old-fashioned but science is infinitely more reliable than gossip, internet chats or wishful thinking. No one has invalidated the basic methods scientists depend on. Those who dislike good medicine remain oblivious to biology, pharmacology, drug production and predictable new outbreaks (like red state measles). The stakes are life and death choices impacted either by well-informed scientists or loudmouth crackpots.
In response to such withering analysis, the White House impugned not the evidence nor the logic but the investigators’ motives, good faith and competence. “Really,” complained the press secretary, “what nerve for backwater PhDs and pencil-pushing know-it-alls to defy a cabinet secretary duly appointed by an elected president? Some of these “so-called scientists” probably got dumped by DOGE, our vetted government efficiency experts. WIMP offers only more woke misinformation that ambushes our divine-ordained issues like vaccine threats or Tylenol poisoning babies. After all, no one except our leader is right all the time.”
Garbage in, garbage out
The president couldn’t resist tweeting his one cent worth:
My gut instinct is genius about good and bad science. I once studied science. My science relatives assure me vaccines cause autism, worsened by pill-popping babies addicted to pain-relievers. Who knows what else evil, criminal Democrats force down their kids’ throats? How sad that male infants are circumcised without ever reading them their rights. What new-borns appreciate hidden threats that only I understand on even-numbered days? My loyal slaves are saving innocents from fates worse than death, like weiner abuse. It all gives me a headache: fetch two Tylenols.
Independent medical professionals endorsed the Institute findings, arguing this White House and RFK, Jr. are proof positive that believing your own baseless BS makes one a bullshitter. What’s more dangerous, per researchers, than rank, untrained amateurs deciding what science and research matters? Hard-up hacks can concoct schemes to corrupt data and “prove” cult fixations. Even proverbial wisdom, like an apple a day keeps the doctor away, causes many fewer fatalities than ingesting bleach, refusing vaccines or trying to have your circumcision reversed by plastic surgery. Ouch!
Prufrock sharply corrected voices unacquainted with actual science, if not logic and reason.
We have more top scientists in one room than across the Trump administration departments. Impugning world-class science is extremely costly, as when the best Covid therapies were demoted, thus killing hundreds of thousands of needless victims. So much for the government serving ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’ We find dead people lack life, liberty and happiness. ‘Kool-aid’ science is superstition reborn as with the delusional fantasy, for example, that special beds cure diseases. Problems with blood, viruses and organs don’t give a damn about bedding appliances.
WIMP stressed that reckless, indiscriminate firing of top government-funded innovators only exacerbates growing public health crises, “In the end, we second the comment from NY Times’ Nicholas Kristof: ‘Why does the Trump administration side with viruses over people?’” To no surprise, Ben Meidas added a relevant if not slightly partisan answer: because “Donald Trump is a virus.” Too bad there’s no vaccine, tested or otherwise, for what ails MAGA and its chief malefactor, except massive protests, direct defiance and a Democratic electoral landslide the next time out.
As a finale, here’s actual language on autism from Google’s AI:
“Autism’s behavioral characteristics fall into two main categories: difficulties with social communication and interaction and restricted or repetitive behaviors, interests, or activities.”
Social communication and interaction challenges
Difficulties in social reciprocity: May include . . . not sharing interests, or difficulty with the back-and-forth of conversation.
• Challenges in developing and maintaining relationships: Difficulty making friends or adjusting behavior to fit social situations.
• Speech and language differences: Delayed speech, unusual tone of voice, or difficulty with conversational give-and-take.
Restricted or repetitive behaviors, interests, or activities
• Fixation on interests: Intense focus on specific subjects or activities, with a need to discuss them often.
• Rigid routines: A strong preference for routines and rituals, with significant distress at even minor changes.
• Unusual sensory responses: Being overly sensitive or under-sensitive to sights, sounds, textures, or stimuli.
MAGA vs. autism?
What’s uncanny, revealing and scary are how many autistic dimensions correspond to operational, knee-jerk MAGA manias. Autism impedes positive “social communication and interactions”—ditto, MAGA types who lie all the time, accept absurdities, force needless divisiveness, then without evidence demonize foes. Does this deviant White House “maintain (healthy) relationships” if the only standard is unswerving loyalty to the top boss? “Difficulty with conversational give-and-take” afflicts this arrogant, increasingly verbose and incoherent president and a myriad of unqualified appointees. “Fixations” (because Trumpism is always right) and “repetitive behaviors” (like false, mass insults towards Dems, judges, journalists, black women, vote counters, experts) are core to the righteous, “perfect” MAGA way. That doesn’t prove all MAGA appointees suffer from autism or qualify as autistic. Everyone knows malignant narcissism and overt hostile actions are terrific coverups for so many other flaws, like dishonesty, malice, and blockheadedness.
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